Daplunmisflismumcetboggam Nilquartbunkinlargneg Spagsigkar is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, temperamental jellyfish.

Daplunmisflismumcetboggam Nilquartbunkinlargneg Spagsigkar created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Daplunmisflismumcetboggam Nilquartbunkinlargneg Spagsigkar, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Daplunmisflismumcetboggam Nilquartbunkinlargneg Spagsigkar, he will strike you with lightening.

Daplunmisflismumcetboggam Nilquartbunkinlargneg Spagsigkar's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Daplunmisflismumcetboggam Nilquartbunkinlargneg Spagsigkar's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not eat oranges.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. You must pray to Daplunmisflismumcetboggam Nilquartbunkinlargneg Spagsigkar three times a day.