Stipontgem Wotlopbid is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, charitable aardvark.

Stipontgem Wotlopbid created matter four years ago.

If you believe in Stipontgem Wotlopbid, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stipontgem Wotlopbid, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Stipontgem Wotlopbid's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Stipontgem Wotlopbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near ants while wearing turquoise trousers.

2. Erect three platinum sculptures of Stipontgem Wotlopbid on top of important buildings.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never paint your chest black.

5. Do not take Stipontgem Wotlopbid's name in vain.