Pitbatdiss Gigcibdog is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, irritating wyrm.

Pitbatdiss Gigcibdog created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbatdiss Gigcibdog, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pitbatdiss Gigcibdog, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Pitbatdiss Gigcibdog's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Pitbatdiss Gigcibdog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not take Pitbatdiss Gigcibdog's name in vain.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near rats while wearing turquoise boots and balancing three titanium spheres on your back.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never hurt tortoises.