Bepwonhud is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, merciless gorilla.

Bepwonhud created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Bepwonhud, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bepwonhud, she will have a low opinion of you.

Bepwonhud's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bepwonhud's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never feed gooseberries to birds while wearing gray hats.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never look in ponds.