Ominpomwik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty troll.

Ominpomwik created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominpomwik, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ominpomwik, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Ominpomwik's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Ominpomwik's Holy Commandments

1. Ominpomwik must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Do not take Ominpomwik's name in vain.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Never hurt ducks.