Yakfunmut is a god.
She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awesome
otter.
Yakfunmut created a charm quark four trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Yakfunmut, she will laugh at you.
If you do not believe in
Yakfunmut, she will boil you in a big pot.
Yakfunmut's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.
Yakfunmut's Holy Commandments1. Do not wear orange clothing.
2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.
3. Doves are not to be trusted.
4. Do not kill tapirs.
5. Never sprint in the presence of gulls.