Yakfunmut is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awesome otter.

Yakfunmut created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakfunmut, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yakfunmut, she will boil you in a big pot.

Yakfunmut's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Yakfunmut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Do not kill tapirs.

5. Never sprint in the presence of gulls.