Bemgilflab is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, pitiless deer.

Bemgilflab created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemgilflab, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bemgilflab, she will turn you into a worm.

Bemgilflab's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bemgilflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never feed turnips to moths while wearing shoes.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Bemgilflab in the centre of the settlement.