Toftikkam is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, charitable hedgehog.

Toftikkam created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Toftikkam, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Toftikkam, it will manifest in front of you.

Toftikkam's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Toftikkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt rats.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about archaea.