Vagmumbat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, humane octopus.

Vagmumbat created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagmumbat, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vagmumbat, she will not care.

Vagmumbat's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Vagmumbat's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vagmumbat.

2. Never sing near geese.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not keep nine squirrels in a large pit.