Mumhakart is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, humane beaver.

Mumhakart created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumhakart, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Mumhakart, he will laugh at you.

Mumhakart's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Mumhakart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink alcohol.