Bestjampogbot is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, intelligent dog.

Bestjampogbot created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestjampogbot, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bestjampogbot, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bestjampogbot's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bestjampogbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise corsets.

2. Never think about dark matter near mites while wearing red rings and balancing eight silver spheres on your hands.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Do not speak about pineapples.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.