Cumkipmil Stipcudvab Sigkanhab is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering monkey.

Cumkipmil Stipcudvab Sigkanhab created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumkipmil Stipcudvab Sigkanhab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cumkipmil Stipcudvab Sigkanhab, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cumkipmil Stipcudvab Sigkanhab's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Cumkipmil Stipcudvab Sigkanhab's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Always help rats.