Bonkbunvincin is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, temperamental swan.

Bonkbunvincin created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbunvincin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bonkbunvincin, she will torture you forever.

Bonkbunvincin's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Bonkbunvincin's Holy Commandments

1. Bonkbunvincin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never eat green fruit.