Yoklimmis Fomjanpang is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, contented lobster.

Yoklimmis Fomjanpang created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoklimmis Fomjanpang, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yoklimmis Fomjanpang, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Yoklimmis Fomjanpang's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Yoklimmis Fomjanpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always obey Yoklimmis Fomjanpang's priests.

3. Never think ill of sick mice.

4. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Yoklimmis Fomjanpang in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.