Rawquamontquaf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish wombat.

Rawquamontquaf created silver three million years ago.

If you believe in Rawquamontquaf, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rawquamontquaf, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Rawquamontquaf's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Rawquamontquaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed cherries to ants while wearing pink scarves.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never talk about fire.