Cettailgig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, strong jellyfish.

Cettailgig created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cettailgig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cettailgig, she will turn you into a hamster.

Cettailgig's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Cettailgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always help sick pigs.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near seals while wearing white stockings and balancing six titanium spheres on your hands.