Sakrutt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish swan.

Sakrutt created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakrutt, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sakrutt, he will send minions to preach to you.

Sakrutt's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Sakrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near capybaras while wearing red shirts and balancing five copper spheres on your hands.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Do not eat wheat.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.