Negontzagkam is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, annoying lobster.

Negontzagkam created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Negontzagkam, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Negontzagkam, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Negontzagkam's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Negontzagkam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown grasshopers for they are unholy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Run away from blue badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Never talk about comets.