Habkimleg is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful squid.

Habkimleg created humanity seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Habkimleg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Habkimleg, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Habkimleg's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Habkimleg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Habkimleg on top of all buildings.

2. Run away from red sharks, for they are unholy.

3. Always help dogs in need.

4. Hide if four nematodes approach from the east.

5. Always help sick tortoises.