Ligwotyar is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, slow yak.

Ligwotyar created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligwotyar, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ligwotyar, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Ligwotyar's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Ligwotyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to swans while wearing red shoes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never hurt grasshopers.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.