Funsugvad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic badger.

Funsugvad created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Funsugvad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Funsugvad, she will jump up and down on your head.

Funsugvad's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Funsugvad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Funsugvad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Funsugvad.