Gen Leggam is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, tiresome alligator.

Gen Leggam created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gen Leggam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gen Leggam, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gen Leggam's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Gen Leggam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to eagles while wearing hats.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Gen Leggam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Put Gen Leggam first in all things.

5. Do not keep three hamsters in a large pit.