Gatpangbidtansigstig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, strong swallow.

Gatpangbidtansigstig created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gatpangbidtansigstig, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gatpangbidtansigstig, he will laugh at you.

Gatpangbidtansigstig's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gatpangbidtansigstig's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never sing near rats.