Fossmiflist Karlegtof is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, contented monkey.

Fossmiflist Karlegtof created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossmiflist Karlegtof, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fossmiflist Karlegtof, he will throw large rocks at you.

Fossmiflist Karlegtof's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Fossmiflist Karlegtof's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Fossmiflist Karlegtof in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Run away if seven mites approach from the west.