Jabflamfub is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless jackal.

Jabflamfub created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabflamfub, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jabflamfub, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Jabflamfub's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jabflamfub's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.