Cissvanbat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, pitiless lion.

Cissvanbat created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissvanbat, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cissvanbat, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cissvanbat's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Cissvanbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never play with disobedient children.