Cadvabmit is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, competent lizard.

Cadvabmit created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadvabmit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cadvabmit, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cadvabmit's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Cadvabmit's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cadvabmit.

3. Never think ill of sick whales.

4. Sharks are not to be trusted.

5. Cadvabmit must be the most important thing in your life.