Nillcussrip is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering lobster.

Nillcussrip created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillcussrip, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nillcussrip, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Nillcussrip's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nillcussrip's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink tortoises for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Hide if four tapirs approach from the east.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near hamsters while wearing cyan shorts.

5. Pray towards the west.