Bognatfarnlistrutnigkablak Lakmetquill is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-powerful ferret.

Bognatfarnlistrutnigkablak Lakmetquill created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bognatfarnlistrutnigkablak Lakmetquill, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bognatfarnlistrutnigkablak Lakmetquill, he will remove you from existence.

Bognatfarnlistrutnigkablak Lakmetquill's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bognatfarnlistrutnigkablak Lakmetquill's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Bognatfarnlistrutnigkablak Lakmetquill in the centre of the settlement.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.