Ominstannur Larpgebweg is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful faun.

Ominstannur Larpgebweg created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominstannur Larpgebweg, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ominstannur Larpgebweg, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Ominstannur Larpgebweg's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Ominstannur Larpgebweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about spacetime near aardvarks while wearing mauve tights and balancing three platinum spheres on your head.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. You must never eat cherries.