Hapbissomjap Tapnellkadsighubbamfed is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, stupid camel.

Hapbissomjap Tapnellkadsighubbamfed created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapbissomjap Tapnellkadsighubbamfed, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hapbissomjap Tapnellkadsighubbamfed, he will refuse to believe in you.

Hapbissomjap Tapnellkadsighubbamfed's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Hapbissomjap Tapnellkadsighubbamfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snails.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never eat onions.

4. Always help birds.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.