Vancipgid is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, self-confident seal.

Vancipgid created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vancipgid, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vancipgid, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vancipgid's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Vancipgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shoes.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never hop in the presence of great tits.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.