Vinlitwegmif is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, smart whale.

Vinlitwegmif created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Vinlitwegmif, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vinlitwegmif, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Vinlitwegmif's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Vinlitwegmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not take Vinlitwegmif's name in vain.

5. Never eat bark.