Konflamflabxuck Wabmegcit Dapmatyimab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, overgenerous gorilla.

Konflamflabxuck Wabmegcit Dapmatyimab created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Konflamflabxuck Wabmegcit Dapmatyimab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Konflamflabxuck Wabmegcit Dapmatyimab, he will turn you into a rat.

Konflamflabxuck Wabmegcit Dapmatyimab's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Konflamflabxuck Wabmegcit Dapmatyimab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Feed all hungry tortoises.

3. Never eat melons.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Worship no other gods but Konflamflabxuck Wabmegcit Dapmatyimab.