Tifsagkon is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unfair parrot.

Tifsagkon created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifsagkon, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tifsagkon, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tifsagkon's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tifsagkon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Never think about ultrasonics.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never wear white shorts.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.