Zakdag is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, competent clam.

Zakdag created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakdag, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zakdag, it will strike you with lightening.

Zakdag's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Zakdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must love Zakdag.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never play with disobedient children.