Sigfitcud is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, irritating chinchilla.

Sigfitcud created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigfitcud, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sigfitcud, she will turn you into a mole.

Sigfitcud's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Sigfitcud's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat figs.

2. Run away from brown foxes, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never paint your chest green.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near grasshopers while wearing magenta boots.