Vongabmip is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, grumpy rat.

Vongabmip created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vongabmip, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vongabmip, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Vongabmip's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Vongabmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face fawn.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. You must pray to Vongabmip three times a day.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.