Fottigsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, compassionate spider.

Fottigsaw created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fottigsaw, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fottigsaw, he will turn you into a dog.

Fottigsaw's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Fottigsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near badgers while wearing indigo boots and balancing five zinc spheres on your face.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not eat carrots.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.