Kopkemtit Sommansinnanmipmet is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, grumpy capybara.

Kopkemtit Sommansinnanmipmet created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopkemtit Sommansinnanmipmet, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kopkemtit Sommansinnanmipmet, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Kopkemtit Sommansinnanmipmet's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Kopkemtit Sommansinnanmipmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near whales while wearing indigo kilts.

5. Do not shave your chest.