Dognurtkam is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, idiotic snail.

Dognurtkam created the Sombrero Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dognurtkam, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dognurtkam, she will throw large rocks at you.

Dognurtkam's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Dognurtkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat oranges.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Dognurtkam loves sharks, so they must be honoured.