Begbepvabdonhimlakfub is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, confident mongoose.

Begbepvabdonhimlakfub created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begbepvabdonhimlakfub, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Begbepvabdonhimlakfub, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Begbepvabdonhimlakfub's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Begbepvabdonhimlakfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about dark matter near birds while wearing red kilts.

3. Do not keep eight eagles in a large pit.

4. Never hurt turtles.

5. Do not eat spinach.