Nurcatyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, boastful crow.

Nurcatyarp created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurcatyarp, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nurcatyarp, it will turn you into a mouse.

Nurcatyarp's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nurcatyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to otters while wearing orange tights.

2. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Nurcatyarp on top of important buildings.

3. Nurcatyarp loves great tits, so they must be respected.

4. Always help sick whales.

5. Never sing in the presence of tapirs.