Jatkapmig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, boastful parrot.

Jatkapmig created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatkapmig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jatkapmig, she will destroy your home solar system.

Jatkapmig's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Jatkapmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nucleic acids.

2. Always help tortoises in need.

3. Do not hurt grasshopers.

4. You must love Jatkapmig.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.