Fonwikbop is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil newt.

Fonwikbop created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonwikbop, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fonwikbop, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fonwikbop's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Fonwikbop's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not keep six bats in a large pit.

5. Do not speak about rice.