Flabbestart is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, intelligent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Flabbestart created viruses two years ago.

If you believe in Flabbestart, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flabbestart, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flabbestart's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Flabbestart's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not take Flabbestart's name in vain.

3. Flabbestart loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help porpoises in need.