Handosskan is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, generous squirrel.

Handosskan created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Handosskan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Handosskan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Handosskan's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Handosskan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always help sick dogs.

4. Run away from black frogs, for they are unholy.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Handosskan.