Jabortveen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, pitiless hedgehog.

Jabortveen created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabortveen, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jabortveen, he will try to impress you with trees.

Jabortveen's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Jabortveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.