Vinafvid is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, stupid goat.

Vinafvid created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinafvid, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vinafvid, she will strike you with lightening.

Vinafvid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Vinafvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Run away from violet whales, for they are unholy.

4. Do not kill horses.

5. Never hurt tortoises.