Vagmigrip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, omniscient mink.

Vagmigrip created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagmigrip, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vagmigrip, he will turn you into a slug.

Vagmigrip's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Vagmigrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of apples to ants while wearing turquoise rings.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Always help monkeys.